How adventurous are you?

Have you ever taken an offer from an airline for free tickets in exchange for your seat? I did today and earned a ticket, a hotel room, and meals. Why not take the deal? 

But an entire plane load didn't. Some had work the next day, some had school, and some didn't feel safe volunteering and changing plans so quickly. I've volunteered before and my seat hasn't been needed. It's something I think about when I travel in order to take advantage of opportunities that come my way.

Two people volunteered their seats. I found a few things in common with the other young woman. But what if you don't know the outcome? We had a possible solution, but not a guaranteed one at the time we volunteered. How adventurous are you?

Angie in an experimental aircraft

Adventurous people tend to have these traits:

*Willing to take a risk

*Quick decision-making skills

*Look for opportunities

*Proactive

*Find humor in the unexpected

*Allow the unknown to unfold

*Adaptable

*Thinks of the future benefit

*Trust their abilities to work through to a solution

What about you? Do you have adventurous traits? 

Have you ever wished you'd acted on an opportunity?

What other traits would you add to this list?

Not only did I spend the night, but I'm considering spending the next one as that flight might be oversold too. There are other opportunities that worked out besides a summer flight I already needed to buy. Wonderful friends came to dinner, a business friend and associate was able to meet with me, I spent time relaxing, and there's an entire day pending with two catch up projects I have with me.

When am I going home? Soon, just a tad bit more profitable.

--Angie

PS Did you notice the countdown widget for the upcoming release of A Healing Heart? I am getting so excited to share it with you!

6 Ways to make a difference through conversation

People talk. A lot. But do our words really matter?

Does conversation change lives or make a difference?

I spoke with a gal who said every time she talked with a particular person, she left with her mind spinning through ideas, dreams, and goals. She looked forward to talking with her friend because each time they had a conversation, life changed. Her dreams get bigger with each connection.

Here are 6 ways to make a difference through conversation.

1. Be welcoming. Smile and allow the other person to feel safe with you. Hearts and minds open to new possibilities in a positive environment.

2. Listen to the concepts and words being shared. Don't assume you know where the other person is going with his/her idea. Even if you do, the other person may simply need to talk it out. I've solved many problems through voicing them to a friend. It's respect, but it's also beneficial to allow the other person the opportunity to express themself fully. You never know when the conversation has a surprise ending. On facebook, a parent asked how to help a teen earn money. Much of the norm posted a few minutes later. But I happened to have a few unique ideas about owning their own small business. Stop the conversation too soon and you may never hear the real need isn't for yardwork and babysitting.

3. Share ideas. What encouragement or knowledge do you have that will help? Now the interpersonal dynamics are taking off. The chat becomes fun, interesting, and often inspirational to both parties. Do you have articles to help your friend with New Year's Goal Support?

4. Share your dreams. When you have the courage to share your dreams, you inspire others to brave their own. Courage creates courage in others. It's magical.

5. Share the progress. What's changed since you last met? Are you closer to your goal? Are they closer to their goals? Celebrate progess in the moment and the big pay off will come. Our minds focus and draw us into the right direction to complete our goals when we celebrate by sharing the progress along the way.

6. Never nullify by being a Negative Nelly. Be sure to encourage ideas and not be a nay-sayer. You may not see the big picture, but many rejections turned into spectacular successes throughout history. There's no reason to squash someone's idea, dream, or goal. If you feel you must offer help to avoid trouble, ask first. "What do you think about..." or "May I share a hurdle I see?" Then also share a solution or an idea for a solution. If you don't have a solution, it may be an opportunity to stay silent.

Are there only 6 ways to make a difference through conversation?

Oh no, there are as many opportunities as there are people in the world.

Share your ideas on how to make a difference through conversation.

I'm sure there are some great ones out there :)

What can a teen do to earn some money now?

Guest article from Carol Topp:

Here are some ideas for a micro business a teenager can start this spring:

• House cleaning: Offer to tackle large jobs like washing windows, moving furniture, etc. Many people are grateful for a young, strong teenager to help them with heavy lifting. What is easy for you might be very difficult for them, especially if they are an older person.
• Routine house cleaning: Some customers need regular house cleaning and may hire you on a weekly or monthly basis. Don't wait for them to ask: offer to come weekly or twice a month and see what they say.
• Attic cleaning: Offer to help people do a job that they put off, such as cleaning an attic.
• Garage cleaning: A big job that can earn you big bucks!
• Yard cleanup: Offer to trim bushes, pull weeds, plant flowers and spread mulch to spruce up a yard.
• Car and van cleaning: People spend a lot of time in their automobiles and their cars and vans need frequent cleaning. Melissa gladly paid to get her van cleaned inside and out every week because her four children could really make a mess in it. You can make some cash by offering to clean a van inside and out.
• Organize. Organize a house, playroom or garage. Charge the customer for any bins, tubs and labels that you purchase for them and then add on the value of your time. Take before and after photos to use on your advertising fliers.
• Declutter: Do you love HGTV shows on organization? You might be able to find someone to hire you to declutter their house like you see on TV.
• Garage sales: Advertise, organize and run a garage sale for your neighbors. Get several neighbors to participate together and really earn the bucks!
• eBay sales: Offer to sell your neighbors' stuff on eBay and take a cut for yourself. Combine the decluttering, garage sale and eBay tasks into a full package to help your customers profit from their excess stuff.

(This is an excerpt from Carol's article. Full article available at docstoc.com)

Carol Topp, CPA advises teenage business owners though her Micro Business for Teens book series. Carol’s day job is accountant to business owners, and she enjoys teaching teenagers to succeed beyond their dreams. Students appreciate how she shares what they need to know in clear and helpful lessons. Her website is MicroBusinessForTeens.com

About the book:

With unemployment rates high, the teen population is finding it harder and harder to find work. Adults are competing for the same minimum wage jobs. But there’s an alternative—starting a microbusiness. What is a micro business? It is a very small, one-person business that you can start easily and quickly with what you already know or own. No money needed, low risk and no debt! Students can spend as much time running a micro business as they wish and can even close it down during busy times. The best advantage for teens to own a micro business is that it not only brings in extra cash (often more than imagined), but students end up learning a great deal about business, money and themselves. It may lead to an entrepreneurial life or at the very least, prepare students for higher learning opportunities.

Starting a Micro Business will help teenagers earn money while learning how to start their ownbusiness. A micro business is simple to start, usually home-based, low risk, educational and easy for a busy student to run. This book offers ideas, a business plan, starting with no debt, pitfalls to avoid and resources to get a teenager started making money running their own micro business.

Working Toward The Goal

lately so many projects and ideas compete with the must-do list. I started to feel overwhelmed. Then I sat down and made a list of what needed to be done and when. Short project to enable me to complete many larger projects.

To my surprise, I make lists all the time, listing the projects caused my production level to leap forward. Today I finished three main items I thought would take all week. Wow!

Making lists isn't new to me. But cleaning up odds and ends seems to make that list grow and grow. By writing only the names of the projects I grabbed hold of the bigger overview. Instead of overwhelmed, I was inspired and motivated. I knocked out those three projects in less time than I thought possible. Now I can move on to the next project with the confidence I built in the accomplishments of today.

What inspires and motivates you to become ultra productive?

Come visit the faith girls blog and see why I was so nervous to post!

Speaking From Experience

Mistakes. Do you beat yourself up over each one? Does shame, doubt, and guilt assault you each time that mistake comes up again?

I used to be one of the worst (or is it best?) at beating myself up over mistakes. I'd befriend my pirate allowing it to attack me with guilt and shame. I'd doubt myself. Then I started helping other people who'd made a similar mistake learn how to get through the hardship. My past blunder became the brokenness God used to heal someone else.

Do we become friends with our pirates?

As I began to listen and open myself to helping others from my life lessons, even those difficult experiences caused by circumstance or another person's harmful choices became gifts. I could hold the hand of someone walking through the pain.

Soon the past became a reference file, then an amazing encyclopedia of ways to offer opportunity and choices. The grief I felt at wrong turns has become joy in being a guide through hard terrain. In embracing the lessons of my past, I've found purpose by sharing those lessons.

A few days ago Psalm 51:15 shouted out to me, "Help me to speak and I will praise Your name."

Such a simple, easily memorized verse. Building my speaking career is hard work. I loved that this verse reminds me to go to God for help to speak. Some of my topics can touch on old wounds and hot buttons. But with God's help, I will speak from experience. I hope to help others draw on their experience to soothe and smooth the way into their perfect purpose.

Gem of Wisdom: Opal~Empathy is the ability to understand another person's feelings or difficulty.
Read Proverbs 17:17 and see how it relates :-)

Are you friends with your pirate or is it time to defeat him for good?
Does someone need your past experience to make it through their current one?

Competitions abound in every possible arena. Preparing to compete for your dream takes years of practice. The big day comes and there's only one winner.

What do you learn when you win or lose?

I've had the opportunity to compete for beauty pageant titles, book contracts, jobs, commercials, spelling bees, and even choir trips.

THS Highlights, we won a spot to sing at the national music convention in New Orleans 1981

I've won each and lost each.
But each loss taught me how to hone my skills and each win built my confidence.
I learned that every time I compete, there's another opportunity to try again.
I've also learned the loss took me to a better place the next time. Sometimes it meant I changed direction and sometimes I came back stronger with a higher level of skill to win. I've begun to trust loss is often a gift to a higher win even when it's different than the first goal.

What are some competitions you've been in before?

Have you won or lost?

What did you learn from each experience?

More competition, including a cupcake recipe, over at: http://www.thefaithgirls.com

Preparing for a New Year

Spring cleaning at the end of the year?

I'm doing that with both my house and my email accounts. One is being handed over to the next publicity officer for ACFW. I don't want either one of us to start the new year with a bunch of clutter.

At home I've finished my kitchen and the next room is my office. Scary! Seriously, I am working on cleaning it in order to have a clear head. With 2 big projects starting in January, I don't want all the old stuff stopping me.

Stuff. It just gets in the way of goals and dreams.

I work organically. My brain is on high speed almost every day of my life. So it's easy for me to pile things instead of file things. Every few months I need to file my piles. Then I have a sense of clarity and accomplishment. Nothing is pulling me in different directions. But the organic nature of my high speed brain will not let me stop and manage the stuff of each project while I'm in it. Somehow it stalls me. I've learned to honor that part of me too by cleaning up after each project instead. It also offers me closure on the project, both mental and physical. I think that's as important as feeling prepared and organized for the future, saying goodbye to the old allows space for the new.

I plan on getting the office cleaned up and then spending time (a few hours to a few days) determining my achieved goals from last year and setting the new ones for this year. I have a 5 step plan for annual goals, how to make New Year resolutions actually happen. So I'm going to sit down and follow my own advice.

 I'll post a photo of the cleaned desk just to be accountable :-) Hmm, I wonder when? By next week for sure...

Do you do anything to prepare for new goals?

Angie

What's In Your Spiritual Pantry?

Please welcome my guest today, Chloe JonPaul. She shares an excerpt from her book and some tools she personally uses to fill the needs of moving forward into an older age as a woman, An Age of Elegance.
Take it away, Chloe...

What's in Your Spiritual Pantry? 


* Books: There are many excellent books on the market that fall under the category of spiritual reading. They can't all be listed here but I'll mention a few that I have found to be exceptionally worthwhile in my journey toward the Age of Elegance.
When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough by Harold Kushner
A Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren
Everyday Tao by Deng Ming Dao
Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho


* Journaling: Keeping a daily journal (even if you only write a couple of lines) is an excellent way to track your spiritual journey because it is here that you can articulate your deepest thoughts.

* Silent Retreat: Whether you go to a retreat center, monastery, or spend the day at home, you can have a day that is totally engulfed with tranquility. If you elect to do this at home, turn off the computer, telephone, radio, and TV. Immerse yourself in the stillness and watch what happens with the changes in your body's rhythm and activity of your mind.

* Beliefnet.com: This web site has something for everyone. The link Faiths and Practices provides information on every religion. Other links include holistic spirituality, guided meditations, healing prayers plus much more. You can even take a personality quiz by clicking on to Belief-O-Matic to identify your religious and spiritual beliefs.

So there you have it! As you enter the Age of Elegance, you can move forward with confidence to nurture your spiritual self. The Woman of Elegance seeks balance and harmony in her life.

Excerpt from Entering the Age of Elegance: A Rite of Passage Practical Guide for the Modern Maturing Woman by Chloe JonPaul

Hello, Angie again ~
Here is an invitation I hope you won’t refuse! Chloe JonPaul has invited me to “launch” and has extended the invitation to my friends as well.

Chloe is launching her Best Seller campaign, which will run between April 27th and May 3rd on Amazon. Great bonuses and a special prize are available to everyone who attends. Her goal is to have as many book orders as possible on April 27th.

Please mark your calendar for April 27th and visit Chloe’s web site:
www.EnteringtheAgeofElegance.com for further details.

“Entering the Age of Elegance: A Rite of Passage & Practical Guide for the Modern Maturing Woman” is a must-read for every midlife and Boomer woman. If you’re looking for an exceptional yet inexpensive gift for such women you know, now would be the perfect time to purchase it. 

Hitting Home: Wisdom establishes strength

Have you ever considered that the Lord has placed people in your care when you are teaching?

Preparing my presentation for the Naked Truth Singles Conference in Memphis brought me to Proverbs 24: 3-6, "Use wisdom and understanding to establish your home; let good sense fill the rooms with priceless treasures. Wisdom brings strength, and knowledge gives power. Battles are won by listening to advice and making a lot of plans." CEV

The more I digest these verses, the more I believe confidence is rooted in gaining wisdom. Confident people are seen as strong, smart, knowing what to do, and powerful. I don't mean powerful as egotistical, but as a leadership quality. Someone who has the power to lead.

The image of "good sense fill the rooms with priceless treasures" describes the concepts I've written about in the online classes I teach that help us battle the inner pirates and earn our gems of wisdom. It was like God saying I'd gotten it right. A confirmation. The sense of confirmation elated me the last few days because I want so dearly to bless the lives and hearts of the people given into my care for the upcoming seminar. Rereading the verses, they hit home. I am relying on them as the theme for my seminar now.

And that realization is what stunned me! God has given me the responsibility to care for people that come to hear me speak. Care like a shepherd, to protect, to nourish. Such a grave responsibility to be placed in the role of caring for His people's hearts and well-being.

In what way has God placed people in your care?
How do these verses speak to you?

Angie
New Release: Creative Cooking for Colitis

available now at
http://www.mygemofwisdom.com/products-page/books/creative-cooking-for-colitis-cookbook/

Building Confidence in Following Leadership

"Genuine spiritual leaders seek to empower their followers. Any leader who fosters extreme dependence among their followers is in reality, just someone who wants to control them. A sincere leader welcomes questions and challenges from their followers; anyone who forbids dissent or punishes it is not sincere." (C) Marcia Sirota MD 2010


I followed a link from twitter to a longer explanation of Avoiding the Spiritual Sociopath. Out of that note post on facebook, I found this wonderful quote. Recognition that leaders who cannot accept challenge, questions, forbid dissent, and/or punish disagreement help put motivation into the equation.


It's too easy to follow blindly. Too easy to figure out folly later. Then too hard to get out.


By watching how leaders behave, we can begin to see abuse of power, manipulation, and insecurity. My experience with leaders who demand total control is that they are often the most insecure. They lack confidence and the ability to achieve maximum potential for their businesses, family, and employee productivity.


Sometimes it's hard to recognize. Ask yourself: 
Do I fear my boss, pastor, friend?
Do others?
Am I more productive when this person is around?
Am I less productive and/or indecisive when answering to this person?
How am I treated when I ask a question?
Is my opinion valuable to this person?
Will I achieve the dreams and goals God set in my heart following this person? 


What did you learn from your answers?


Did you notice the description of a sincere leader in the quote? We could also call that a confident leader. A confident leader accepts questions, challenges, and ideas from others especially those in the trenches.


One of my favorite television shows lately is, Undercover Boss. I love to watch what those corporate leaders are learning. In the agreement, these people can't disclose who they are. The struggle to right something happens, but also the recognition of expertise from the people that actually do the hired work in the levels below the CEO's normal day job. I like that these people have been willing to recognize the challenges and be in a place of discovery. I have a lot of respect for their ability to be vulnerable.


Your thoughts?


Angie Breidenbach
http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com

Modeling Volunteerism~Building Confident Kids

My daughter, Mariah, and I at the Hospice Ball

Volunteering instills confidence in our children. I required my daughter to volunteer once a week during her home school years. It was one of her graded classes. She had to interview for the position with the food bank director. Then she had to perform her duties and even received performance reviews.

When Mariah found out that I'd be volunteering for the Hospice Ball, she asked how she could also. I contacted them and the perfect spot opened up for her as a server with the caterer. Now since she loves serving and waitressing, Mariah was able to use her God given talents and interests to help raise funds for hospice her in Missoula.

Here's an important detail: Mariah knew no one. She asked, a door opened, and she filled the need with her own abilities. As a parent, I believe setting her up for success as an adult comes from getting the experience in childhood.

Why is that important? It's initiative she learned while volunteering way back in junior high. She had no reason to fear and every reason to believe in herself, confidence.

Do you think children should volunteer?

How does modeling volunteerism matter?

Angie Breidenbach

http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com

Confidence has a No Need to Compete clause

Ms. Montana and Mrs. Montana work together at the Hospice Ball 

My friend, Janet Bierer, is Ms. Montana US Continental. I'm Mrs. Montana International. Different pageant systems and yet we aren't defensive or concerned about who does what. Instead, we enjoy running the race together and because of this, are more successful in our duties for our charities. We've built a friendship that benefits others.

We had the honor of assisting at the 1920's themed fund raiser for the Hospice Ball on Friday night. (Our job was to enforce the TSA regulations at the door to the Minuteman airport hanger and help people check in for the auction.) It's not unusual to see both of us at a fund raiser. What's wonderful about working with Janet is that neither of us feel competitive toward each other. Rather, we complement one another.

Janet is beautiful, funny, and successful in her professional life. She owns a couple of beauty salons here in Montana. But I don't feel jealousy, instead I am honored to be her friend.

Too often, women feel they must compete with the other women in their lives. We worry over someone else's beauty, talent, vivacious personality. We worry that we can't be as bubbly and witty or photogenic. We think the other woman always has it better. But when we enjoy the benefit of our unique personalities and talents, it's more productive. Okay, it's just plain fun!

When people try to figure out the difference in our titles, we laugh and explain it this way, "She's the unmarried and I'm the married version." We have a lot of fun explaining the different pageant systems, and trust me, no one knows more about them than Janet! The loveliest thing about Janet is she enjoys sharing her knowledge. She's a giving person full of heart.

Janet and I met last fall during the American Heart Association's Heart Walk. Since then, we've appeared at many special events together from managing hundreds of people coming in the doors to the Hospice Ball to selling raffle tickets at the Make-A-Dream event and helping the Jadyn Fred Foundation raise money to get kids to the out of state hospitals. It was Janet's idea to team up. And am I glad we did!

Together, we are able to do more than we could alone. Both of us have outgoing personalities so it's easy for us to sell raffle tickets or comically toss someone in the 1920's jail cell by convincing their loved one to pay $5 for their "arrest" by the Keystone Kops. We easily laugh and encourage the other one, and in doing so, we manage to successfully raise more money for the non-profits. We've also been able to help out when schedules clashed. Janet filled in for me when my charity had an event and I was out of town.

Do you have someone in your field that encourages you, runs the race with you, and complements the work you do?

How do you support each other's efforts and goals?

Angie

PS I'm also honored to be a guest today over at: www.seriouslywrite.blogspot.com

Please come visit as I share each Wednesday in March about self-care. This week's is 5 Things Writers Forget First.

Confidence When Plans Go Awry

Have yours? Have your plans for the day ever gone awry and it felt like the day was lost?

Have you felt the tightening of your chest and wondered where your day timer  or some other important information was last left?

Oh yes, today is a day like that for me. I about had a panic attack when I realized I had a full schedule today but no schedule to follow. I follow a day timer every day or I get lost in my long to-do list of duties for ACFW, teaching classes, taking classes, book projects, and even appearances as Mrs. Montana International.

So when my husband asked me for an important set of documents and I turned to pull it out of the non-existent day timer... well, you can imagine the horror!

In addition to the list above, I'm a Weight Watcher's leader & ambassador. Uh huh, guess where I left it? At the Weight Watcher's Missoula center!

Once my husband and I retraced my weekend schedule, we figured out where it was and had a good laugh. But I tell you, I honestly had no idea what I was going to do with my entire business and personal schedule missing.

One thing that helped? Having my husband think through things with me. It kept me calm and confident to be able to lean on his support. I didn't leave it all up to him, I searched the house, my car, and all my business materials from last week's speaking events. But ultimately, it took standing still and talking it out with someone else to jog my memory.

I am working on being a more organized person, but it takes daily practice.

New concept: Remember that you don't have to be all confident and courageous all by yourself. Stop. Tell someone your worry. Listen to feedback. Where there are many counselors plans succeed, even plans to find something you've lost :-) It helps us to bounce ideas and worries off someone else.

What have you lost that caused your stomach to land in your shoes?

How did you solve it?

Angie
http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com

What Would You NOT Want To Leave Behind

What would you NOT want anyone to find if you died today?


I started a little filing and cleaning. My desk was in need of a serious filing block of time. I pulled open a drawer and it was full of... doodads. A bunch of junk taking up space.


I suddenly thought of someone else having to go through my things if I were no longer here. (Several people I know have lost loved ones this week and so my thoughts weren't maudlin, simply a recognition that all life ends.)


Did I want them to open drawers and find junk? What would they do? Seriously, wouldn't you just turn it over a garbage can? Was there anything in my home that would bother me if my grandson found it? You know he has a habit of exploring all my cupboards and drawers passionately!

But the filing had important insurance documents in it. What would my family do if they couldn't locate the insurance that would pay for all the expenses I'd incur?


Wow! That thought stopped me in a mid-air intention to sit down. I launched back up and over to the pile. I began the chore of filing.


A little later while researching verses for a chapter I'm working on in Courageous Beauty, I found a verse, James 3:16, that says For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.


Consider that from a slightly different angle, evil practice and disorder are a result of envy and selfish ambition. Oh my! I skidded to a halt. Was disorder a sin and equal to evil? What was appropriate ambition for a Christian? (Here's a tool I found to help.)


The more I thought about it, the more I felt convicted. The time I've wasted over the last several weeks while I searched for this paper or that could have been spent writing pages and pages of a book or in creating materials I need for speaking. Instead, I wasted precious time looking through a messy desk. Time that I can't get back. Time that was given to me by God to live out the purpose and calling planted in my DNA. 


So I've been just handing this precious gift of time right out the door. It's my choice.


My Lenten season won't be dedicated to giving up a food or even regular fasting. (I'm a Lutheran who practices lenten discipline.) It will be spent dedicated to creating a sense of order because God is not a God of chaos but of order.


How will you observe Lent?


How does this concept affect you?


Is there anything you wouldn't want to leave behind for others to deal with?


Angie
http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com

Perfection-What Confidence Is Not

Is perfection an elusive dream?

Should we strive for perfection?

Actually, the Bible says we should strive for perfection but are we supposed to worship it?

We hear the phrase, "I'm a perfectionist." It's supposed to mean that someone is paying attention to details and working hard to achieve quality. We want quality in product and performance. Think race car.

What concerns me is the pitfall that turns into a type of ricochet loop when perfection becomes a distraction. Instead of moving toward the goal, it's easy to keep circling a task instead of finishing it as a part of the whole. Think half a race car.

I've heard many writers reworking the first three chapters of a novel for various contests, but never turning it in to an agent or editor for potential publication. That's a prime example of perfection stealing confidence. Think picture of a race car.

Sometimes the constant analyzing is like the magnifying glass on paper sizzling through hole after hole. Instead of constant improvement, what was once well done begins to show wear and burn marks.

Another battle with perfectionism is obsessive compulsive behavior. When any standard task must be done in the exact same manner or it causes extreme stress, then we've imprisoned the opportunity for driving the race car.

So the question isn't should we strive for perfection? But rather, how do I learn give my very best without burning up my efforts?


Allowing vulnerability isn't a bad thing either. In our culture, we've fought to look like we have it all together in every way at all times. When we think we've failed, we begin immediately attacking on the internal front. Ultimately, I believe worship of perfection is really caused by a lack of self-esteem. Our self-talk becomes failure chatter.

Sometimes it helps to get input from others. Not for mere opinion, but as Proverbs teaches that where there are many counselors, plans succeed. Getting objective view points helps pop us out of our internal negativity and see our work through new eyes.

Is there something that's got you spinning in circles rather than moving toward a goal?

I'd love to hear your thoughts, please share.

If you'd like some tools for personal growth in the area of self-esteem, please visit these links. 


Angie

Confident Self Presentation

How do you present yourself?

Is there a difference in your presence on stage and off?

Do you present yourself professionally online and off?

One of my favorite examples of confident self presentation are beauty queens. Does that surprise you? These women have a way of walking, holding their body, direct eye contact that's friendly and yet not threatening. Take that a step farther. Watch the winners. They also are able to infuse personality into and as a part of their confident manner.

At Mrs. International Pageant, some of the many women who amazed me with their level of confidence and community contribution!

Think about it: It has to take a ton of confidence to walk on stage in a swimsuit or tight fitness wear. People judge the competitors. What makes these women courageous enough to step out in a swimsuit or long gown (easy to trip on) walk out on a stage and be judged?

Every woman I've talked to during competition and in interviews for my non-fiction book, Courageous Beauty, has had a deep belief in a much larger goal. They aren't worried about being judged as much as they are challenged to take the opportunity to capture a vehicle to their goal. Hint: Every one of them has a constant, easy smile. It comes from a place of joy even in struggles and a willingness to look for opportunity regardless of how high the hurdle appears. Optimism that there is a way to achieve the goal regardless of the facts.

Presenting yourself with confidence starts with recognizing your goal is worth the challenge.

Do you study anything that helps you focus on your purpose or life calling?

A fun assignment: Watch a pageant. Know who the winner is in advance. Follow her through each area of competition. Study her physical and vocal cues. Note what you learn from her.

Please share:
What's your goal?

Is it big enough to make you step out into the competition?

If not, how can you make it bigger so that your desire to win that goal is bigger than the fear of the competition?

Angie
Do you have a plan to reach your goal?
Did you know courage, confidence, & wisdom are learnable skills?
Angela Breidenbach, Certified Personal Development Coach, can help you learn confidence skills and set a plan of action to reach your goal.
http://www.MyGemofWisdom.com

Confidence Appears When There Are No Other Options

Ever prayed for a dream only to have it land in your lap, but not look like what you expected? So much so that you don't know it's there? I've had a recent prayer answered, but not realized it until later. One of those epiphany moments.

A similar thing happened with the Messiah. The people prayed for his coming but when he arrived, he didn't appear as a warrior king. The world is saved, not by a powerful conqueror but by a baby in a feed trough. Oh it looked much different than the expectation.

What about you? Are you at a cross roads wondering if your dream is going to work out? Expecting, longing, working every day toward that dream only to be left empty handed? Or is it a mere appearance that is stumping you?

Stretch a bit now. Remember that old adage that appearances are deceiving. That doesn't just fit how a person looks. It fits a situation. Take a few minutes and think back to a moment in your life when you felt it was darkest, maybe you even felt lost, when you believed the worst. Then, to your surprise, the sky opened up and you were surprised by success.

Concentrate on that incident. Now build your belief on the possibility that it wasn't isolated. If it were isolated, how would it be possible that it's happened millions of times to other people. Or are you the only person in the world that's ever been surprised? I can't think that I am.

God works in the most surprising ways. Who are we to tell him our impatience and demanding trump a great surprise?

When there are no other options, we're blessed with something astonishing. Creativity to problem solve. And sometimes, we are blessed on top of that with support above and beyond our own capability--consider it a gift.

Prayer opens your heart's eyes to surprising possibilities even when it appears there are no other options. I did that recently. Not my normal prayers when I wake up. But a prayer that focused on this dream, this sense of losing the dream, and the boxed walls I felt around it. I didn't see the solution. But God did. No door, no window.

I didn't see it coming and I'm glad. I wouldn't have felt the rush of joy and gratefulness had I simply worked my plan and achieved it right on schedule. Don't get me wrong, I had a plan for this goal and I was working that plan. But it appeared to fail. Or so I thought. The entire ceiling blew off my perceived box a few days later. How incredibly creative God is!

Remembering a past surprise success helps us to have hope. Where there is hope, there is the desire to keep trying even in the darkest moment. Where there is hope, there are creativity and joy and great experiences.


What do you think? Are you waiting for the ceiling to blow off?

Angie
I'm now offering confidence coaching. Please contact me if I may be of assistance to you. Find out more at http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com

Related Post:
http://Godusesbrokenvessels.blogspot.com/2010/01/gain-confidence-through-curiosity.html

Building Confidence On Past Accomplishments

Have you thought these words before?

"I'm just not capable!" or a similiar, "I can't do it. I don't know how."

Oh yes, I have! That's when I review the good things I've already accomplished. Most with no idea how to start either. It helps me realize if I could do it before, I can do it again.

What's the "it"? Let's look at that sentence expanded. If I could figure out how to start a project and succeed, even through frustration and cluelessness, then I can figure out how to be creative and succeed again.

Lately, I've been struggling with writing time and focus. I've been overcommitted in a new job and heavy volunteerism, family needs with varying individuals either sick or injured, and some sad moments when we lost two beloved pets in the last month. I started allowing my mind to spin into all the needs in the next few months from money to product for speaking events to travel. I started the self-talk off on the wrong foot. I allowed myself to say, "I don't have a clue, how am I supposed to do this?" Spiral down.

It was like being in the middle of a meteor shower. Not watching it, being IN it. My brain just fritzed out on me with all those flying space bodies.

This morning I woke up praying. Praying from my dreams and my sleep. Wow! I really think it has something to do with Romans 8:26-27 where we are told that when we don't know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit will do it for us.

So right now I've stopped everything. I've made a list of all those meteors so they are out of the space between my ears and landed the moon for a short time while I refuel and reset my fritzed out systems.

One of the little niggly meteors that bugged me was I didn't have a good list of the free lance I'd been doing. I didn't even know how much I'd done because it was not on my radar for tracking. Yet it's important in this publishing world to show your work.

I decided to take a few minutes and round up all the free lance articles I'd written in the last two years and compile them into one document. Now I can keep records and referrals. I feel just a tad bit better.

If getting a list, working each item on the list, and filing it for reference helps me refocus, then I am less stressed. Lessening the stress helps me settle into what needs to be done. Not just reminding myself, but encouraging myself with past accomplishments clears the fritzed systems and prepares me for a take-off.

How to track free lance work we've done? At one point I started a spread sheet. Another was a file in the computer. But some of the work is online and some is in print. Hmm, what to do?

I felt that I'd done the beginnings of a good plan. I had a file on my computer, a physical file, and a spreadsheet. I'm going to add a link of each online article in one document and store that document in both the physical file and the computer file. The spreadsheet needs to be updated with articles sold. I'll move that spreadsheet into the computer file so everything is in one place. At the end of each month, I can print out the spreadsheet and add it to the physical file for taxes. Hmm. Better already.

Once I began to feel confident in a small area, I could move to a bigger area. It's all building blocks with confidence.

I also realized that some of the work was for the same publishing outlet. As an example, I didn't keep the live link for the Christian Fiction Online Magazine. I'd kept my version that I submitted, but no proof of the actual published version. So I simply went back to the archives and began copying the link into my document like this:

http://www.christianfictiononlinemagazine.com/feb-09-buzz_acfw.html

http://www.christianfictiononlinemagazine.com/mar-09-buzz_acfw.html

Confidence definitely comes from realizing we can do again because we've done before.

Have you experienced this sense of "I can't..." lately?

How do you regain confidence and refocus after your system has fritzed?

Angie
Now coaching confidence and courage. Visit http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com for more information

Clear Direction Breeds Confidence

But where do we get that clear direction?

In the deep winter, the fog lies low over the valley. Sometimes it feels as if we are walking aimlessly through that cold, bone-chilling fog. The moisture freezes on everything around.

Montana Hoar Frost (frozen fog.)

We feel ourselves freezing up, not sure we can continue through the barren, icy land until the sun shines again. But there's a glow, just noticeable. A blurry sign of hope.

Our step picks up, we forget the burning in our fingertips, and lean into the direction of the glow. Warmth, comfort, safety. It draws us in and we go in that direction without wavering.

Once inside, warm and protected, we can look out a window and see something we hadn't before. The marvel of sparkling crystals everywhere. The creativity and beauty is breathtaking. But all we could see in the fear, was the need to get to where we were going.

Let me challenge all of us today to take a look around us for that spectacular beauty while we are in it. Allow it to spark the desire to wonder in amazement. Such unique formations. A new ice sculpture in each branch, plant, and weed.

Then realize when you get to safety, that you did get to safety by putting one foot in front of the other. It's stunning to see the footsteps leading to where we belong in a straight line.  Clear direction came from looking for the hope, the dim glow diffused in the frosty air.

Celebrate each time you have the chance to walk in the freezing fog because it offers persistence even as we find creative surprises. Then look back and see the accomplishment of resiliency and survival. These are confidence builders. Celebrate coming out of the fog with new knowledge!  Confidence is built on overcoming difficulty when your eyes are locked on hope.

Angie
http://www.MyGemOfWisdom.com
If I may be of service to you in confidence coaching, please contact me through my website. It will be my joy to help you discover the glow of hope.

Changing Our Self-Talk-is it possible?

One lovely reader mentioned that she was just set. That she couldn't change how she was because of her age. She'd always struggled with negative self-talk and couldn't change that about herself.

I wonder what you all think. Is that true? If someone truly desires to change, can they?

It got me to thinking about addictions. Is it possible that negative self-talk is more of an addiction than a bad habit?

Oooh, I really want to hear what you all think of this concept: Poor or negative self-talk as an addiction...


(In my book, Battle Your Pirates and Win! I have a chapter that's represented by the garnet. One of the garnet's most used utility is as the grit on sandpaper. Go figure, but it's true! So I wrote about sandblasting out those old scripts that replay in your brain and how to do get rid of them. I'm waiting on response from publishers still on the book, but the jewelry line that helps financially support the Sanctuary of Hope orphan homes is already available at http://www.MyGemofWisdom.com 

and the garnet pendant can be purchased individually if you'd like a beautiful piece to help you remember to sandblast out those negative thoughts.) 



Angie