Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Do you like comedy?

Oh, do I love comedy. Not for the reasons you might think. Funny movies are places where I go to get my alone time and recharge. I used to sneak into the theater during matinees until my kids grew up and managed to get jobs at the theater. One after another, they slowly turned me into double agent. I had to watch their schedules so I wouldn't get caught. I did this for about 8 years before I got caught. Everything comes out in the end, doesn't it? Nothing ever stays secret, not even a movie.

Hot outside, planned for a week, kids off in busy summer activities, and hubby working. It was going to be sooo sweet. A few minutes all to myself in the cool, dark indoors eating my own popcorn and drinking my own soda.

I picked the movie and looked over my shoulder. No one. Great, I smiled to myself. I ran in the door knowing not one soul could find me for 2 whole hours. Peace where work, 6 kids, legal issues for my mother, and everyone else couldn't find me. I could laugh and cry without the peanut gallery making fun of me.

Eeeerk! NO! There he stood at the ticket box, my second son.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"Uh, nothing." I hung my head. Now what?

"No really Mom, what are you doing?"

I thought fast. Somehow I had to get him on my side or lose my secret hideout forever. "Okay, I'll let you in on a secret. You have to promise this is between you and me. Do you promise?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I come here for a couple of hours now and then just to get away."

"Alone? Why?"

"If people know, I don't get to come." What was he doing here anyway? I'd checked his schedule. "I thought you had the day off."

"I traded."

"Oh." I shuffled my feet and looked at the ground. I cleared my throat and went for it. "I need a ticket."

"You're here for a movie?" He looked around like someone was supposed to be with me or like I'd been kidding.

"Yes. Just one please."

He winked and laughed. "You're too weird."

"I know. Shh, don't tell."

As I walked into the movie I heard him behind me, "Yeah, that's my mom. What do you mean she does it all the time?"

Do you like to go to movies alone?
Do you like to eat alone?
How do you balance all the demands on your life?

I felt like I needed to give myself permission to let my hair down on a regular basis. I found out that by doing this I became a more peaceful person. I needed the focus off all the "emergencies." I needed to let my mind go have fun too. I also found out that after sneaking away for a movie, I liked being with me.

The first time was hard. In fact, I saw Arnold Schwartenager (sp?) in some silly Christmas movie when it was first on the movie screens. Wow did I have fun! There were 3 of us in the theater. We laughed together, chatted during funny scenes, and made pals out of strangers. I have no idea who they were. We didn't sit anywhere near. I sat in the back nervous to be there, alone, for the first time. Another guy sat near the front and the other in the middle. I had such a great time that the next time wasn't nearly as hard.

Can you make room somehow to give yourself permission to like being with yourself?
What would you do to give yourself secret private time?
PS My son never told:-)
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