Monday, November 13, 2006

Broken isn't trashed

I've been struggling to lose weight all on my own. Nope, it wasn't working. I wasn't too bad either. I needed to lose about 20-25 pounds. Most folks wouldn't even notice. But I did. And after 3.5 yrs of trying on my own, I finally joined Weight Watchers. Now why couldn't I do it alone? I have no idea. I excercise regularly, eat right, limit alcohol etc. Hmm, even found out I needed to take thyroid. Nope...the weight didn't budge.

I prayed about it. What should I do? Time after time the idea of joining Weight Watchers jumped into my head. I'd push it away. I don't need to pay someone to tell me what I already know, do I? Evidently I did. I think God kept popping it in there because I thought I could handle something on my own when He knew I really couldn't.

Why was I so worried about my weight? Actually, there are several reasons. My parents both have high blood pressure. My paternal grandfather had diabetes, my mother has type 2 diabetes, I had gestational diabetes, and my body was hurting. Hurting? Yep. My legs, back and shoulders just plain hurt with an extra 25 lbs. My clothes were too tight and my poor little heart couldn't take looking in the mirror at little ol' me. Do I tell you now that I also am a spokesmodel? I don't have to be a skinny minnie, but it helps to keep getting work if I can fit the t-shirts I have to wear to promote certain products. But, I want you to know that being a model isn't what made me want to get myself back on track. Not wanting to age like my parents and wanting to have an active lifestyle long past my mother's lost life is what made the decision for me. My mother is not dead, but she is incapable of caring for herself at 63. That is just too young. I'll share more about her another time. If you have a family member with mental illness, stay tuned.

Where am I now? I'm down 14 lbs. I feel so much better. I actually had to go buy some slacks because I undergrew mine. Yippee! My goal is not to be super skinny. My goal is to be comfortable, happy, and active. I want to be a role model for my children and an encourager for others. In 1.2 pounds, I'll have reached my first goal of losing 10% of my body weight. Then I'll set one more. I have to be careful not to go too far. I think I can safely go to 135-140 at my height and feel really good for my age. Any more and I might be too thin. That's just as bad.

What do I keep my eyes fixed on? Thankfulness in finally listening to the prompting of the Lord and that gorgeous turquoise oriental dress in my closet. (I haven't been able to wear it in 15 yrs.) BUT I WILL! :-)

Is there something you want to change about you? Have you been ignoring the promptings of the Holy Spirit?

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