Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Missing Elements

Sorry to have been quiet for so long. My mom died last Thursday. I needed to focus on other things. Thank you for visiting in my absence. I did have to remove one entire post because of a very obscene comment left by a spammer. There was no way to remove the lengthy rant of obscenities without deleting the post on Tricia Goyer's book.

This brings me to the realization that there are missing elements in everyone's life. The spammer couldn't contain his rant of hatred toward Christ, day after day we forget some little thing we should have done, and people die.

Missing elements. Things forgotten or left behind. But instead of thinking about being left behind down here on earth, I think we are the missing elements being waited for up in heaven. I rejoice because though she will no longer come to me, I will soon go to her.

2 Samuel 12:18-23 is a passage about David's loss of his son with Bathsheba. Verse 23 says, "But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

We will soon go to be with our loved ones and with the Lord, but we are the missing pieces of the fullness of heaven not the other way around. I look and hope with joy for the day I will be reunited with the loved ones who have gone on before me.

And for those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile, you know that mom was mentally ill. I planned to help her give her last gift to those of us here on earth through a brain donation. It was successful. Her brain arrived within the 24 hour window at the Brain Bank. (It's found at www.brainbank.mclean.org or by calling 1800-brainbank.)

I had a really hard time at the end. I had to keep asking if she was really gone. I didn't want to take what was still hers. It took them several times to convince me that she was really gone. I guess the logical me just wasn't present then.

I'll talk about this more in the future, but I will be getting a report of the findings in 8-12 weeks. It's so important to me to find some answers. Mom's life was very rough due to the paranoid schizophrenia. I see her joyfully dancing with the Lord now in a perfect and whole version of herself. I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to actually communicate with the mother who loved me so much, but couldn't figure out how to socially connect to those who wanted to love her back. I have so many questions.

For those of you who are wondering, I look forward to sharing anything I learn that will help others understand mental illness. I will try to post all that assists once I understand it myself.

Again, thank you for visiting and sticking with me through this time. I'll be back more regularly now.

PS I am moderating comments to protect you all from reading obscene things. Thanks for your understanding.
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